Before I knew it, the last day of filming had arrived. At times it felt like we were so far away from the finish line, but in just seven days, there we were. On this last day, most of our scenes were going to be shot outside, so we prepped equipment and blocked with actors for a few hours while waiting for the lighting conditions to change. There were just two actors left to wrap on before the shoot was over, so I could spend more time with each of them during our rehearsals, honing the performances I wanted from each of them. Our last shot of the night—and thus, the final shot of our production—was a labor of love from everyone. We spent the last few hours figuring out how to light and shoot the main character riding his bike outside after dark. One tungsten light, a makeshift camera car rig, and a lot of failed runs later, we finally arrived at (a very sleepy) “that’s a wrap!” It was also my AC, Isabel’s, birthday, so we went inside and had surprise cupcakes while everyone packed up to go home for the last time. I was excited to wrap up production and close out this chapter of Sundown. However, the end of production also meant the end of crew bonding, countless inside jokes, shared midnight delirium and getting the chance to create.
As wild, spontaneous, and downright exhausting as this experience was, I’m grateful for all that I was able to gain from the highs and lows of these past six months. By no means was this a perfect project, nor is Sundown a perfect story. Regardless, the experience I gained through all the writing, revising, scheduling, shooting, and reflecting upon Sundown was invaluable. With each mistake came a lesson learned for the future, and with each success came more motivation to keep pushing forward. My final thoughts regarding my experiences are as follows:
Director-Actor Relationships
I have never worked with non-student actors, especially across a longer production time across multiple locations. Sundown included a college professor, my cousin, a novice actor, and three experienced actors. Regardless of experience level, spending ample time connecting with my cast was key to establishing a mutual creative understanding of the project and each other. Working with a skill-diverse cast of six in these circumstances pushed me beyond my comfort zone in ways that I’m extremely grateful for. My actors, complete strangers, were willing to believe in me, and I had to do the same for everything to work.
Technical Approaches
The choice to film just three months after getting the grant is one that I don’t regret, but my approaches to the process left much to be desired. Throughout the problems that arose—last-minute scheduling changes, casting stress, uncertainty—a common theme was role delegation. I’ve learned to better trust others on my crew with creative responsibilities regarding Sundown. It’s hard to relinquish full control of something that feels so precious, even though it's for the betterment of the project and myself. I partly missed out on the joys of having a talented, knowledgeable crew by not leveraging their expertise in places I should have. One such misgiving is not working with my camera crew to review dailies and having a set process of looking over the footage we shot, leading to increased feelings of anxiety during editing. No production is without its hiccups (or disasters); still, many of my anxieties (and much of my exhaustion) during production could have been mitigated by trusting myself to trust others.
Sundown & Me
Approaching this project, I thought back to my time on Return 0;, another Studio North grant project I had the pleasure of working on as a rising sophomore. Reflecting on my time on that set, I felt so beyond my depth; everyone else seemed so knowledgeable while I was only starting my college film journey. Flash forward to one year later, and I’m exactly where I thought I was so far away from. This accomplishment didn’t negate the very inevitable imposter syndrome that arose multiple times throughout the process, which I recently spent the past ten weeks reflecting upon in my blog posts. If I didn’t constantly question my work, if I didn’t try to always improve upon myself, then I wouldn’t be an artist. Surviving the creative process and pushing through challenges led to me learning these hard truths. I want to continue creating work that feels personal to me, but work that also scares the living daylight out of me to create, just like Sundown. I want to pursue new projects that challenge my skills and urge me to improve and be greater in every way. I want to and will continue creating, succeeding, and failing. I’ve learned that I need to be less afraid of failing and failing wonderfully, failing and knowing that I’ll always try again. In the end, I’m glad I took a huge chance on myself with Sundown, my silly little short film.
Currently, we’re three months removed from filming and moving into the early stages of post-production. All that’s left is for me to say: thank you. Thank you to my wonderful cast and crew, my chosen family, for sticking with me throughout everything. To my professors and advisors, who gave me invaluable advice during each stage of production. To Studio North for giving me the creative means to embark on this journey in the first place. The next few months promise long hours spent editing and promoting the film. It also promises me moments spent reminiscing about our shoot through notes, names, places, and objects scattered about my digital and physical spaces; reminders of all the memories made. While the sun is beginning to set on this project, I’m eager to give rise to a new creative endeavor, the dawn of a new era.